In this blog post, I’ll summarize my thoughts on artist Kim Jeong-ja’s “Butterfly’s Dream” exhibition and the meaning conveyed by her works.
I visited artist Kim Jeong-ja’s “A Butterfly’s Dream” exhibition. While various exhibitions were taking place in Insadong, this one stood out the most. The piece introducing the exhibition struck me as unique—it conveyed an atmosphere where the past and present seemed to harmonize, yet there was also a sense that something didn’t quite fit. Furthermore, as I looked at the artwork that captured both the present and the past within a single frame, I found myself wondering, “What is the artist trying to say?” This sparked my curiosity about how the other works in the “Butterfly’s Dream” exhibition were portrayed, so I entered the gallery to discover their meaning for myself.
Two pieces stood out most to me at the “Butterfly’s Dream” exhibition. The first was “Butterfly’s Dream 2.” The left side of the piece depicted the modern era, while the right side depicted the past, and the two were exquisitely connected. The modern space was depicted mostly in achromatic tones, with the exception of a pair of slippers. The sofa, floor lamp, and curtains were all rendered in achromatic colors, creating a dark and heavy atmosphere. This scene evoked the darkness and heaviness lodged in the hearts of modern people. It felt as though they had lost their own colors and were cowering. Suddenly, I was reminded of the time when I first moved to Seoul and found myself alone. Seoul, where I knew no one, felt just as monochromatic to me. I felt as though I couldn’t possess my own color, and I just wanted to fade away into that monotony. It felt as though I was gradually turning monochromatic myself, and my heart was filled with a dark and heavy loneliness.
Holding onto those emotions, I gazed at scenes from the past—scenes of nature, such as waterfalls and bamboo. I sensed a vibrant, living energy in those past landscapes that had retained their own colors. As I gazed at the painting, it seemed as though I could hear the sound of the waterfall flowing and the trees rustling in the wind, and I felt a sense of peace and freedom in my heart. It held a tranquility that I couldn’t easily find in my current life. It was as if I were being transported back to the time before I became a college student, when I lived with my parents. In the thatched-roof house within the fence, I saw a reflection of myself resting comfortably in my parents’ embrace. The warmth I hadn’t fully realized back then struck me even more deeply as it contrasted with the monochromatic landscapes of the modern world. Through these images, I sensed that the artwork captured a longing for the past—a past capable of filling the emptiness I feel in the present.
The second piece was “A Butterfly’s Dream 11.” Unlike the first piece, the present and the past were not clearly distinguished, but I could interpret the upper part as the past and the lower part as the present. What stood out most in this piece was the shadow of a figure in the modern space. The shadow was depicted as three separate figures. As I looked at the figure leaning against the railing with their head bowed, the three shadows seemed to be gradually curling up even more. The way the shadows were gradually stooping made it appear as though their spirits were shrinking along with their bodies. Looking at those shadows, I was reminded of myself when I was deep in thought. I could sense my own self, wandering aimlessly in the midst of a complicated daily life, unsure of what to do. The deeper my worries became, the more my body lost its strength; and the more my body curled up, the more my spirit shrank as well. I took a deeper interest in this work precisely because I recognized myself in it. Since I could sense my own troubled self in the shadows, my gaze lingered on them longer than on any other element.
In this work, it seemed as though the artist had chosen to recall the past as a way to resolve their own worries. I sensed a longing for the mountains and natural landscapes visible when one looks into the distance—a longing that arises from the pain and loneliness experienced in modern life. It also conveyed a sense of regret—the longing to go to a peaceful place harmoniously blended with nature across the sea, yet knowing it is not easily within reach. Because I recognized myself in the shadow, the direction the figure was looking in also felt like the past I longed to return to. Since I, too, have often thought about returning to a time when I had no worries, I believe I interpreted the figure in the artwork as someone who also yearns for the past.
As I mentioned earlier, the reason these two works left a particularly deep impression on me was that they perfectly conveyed the desire to escape modern society and return to the past. Both works beautifully captured the longing to escape a lonely and isolated reality and return to a past that was stable and comfortable. Since I, too, had been yearning to escape, even briefly, from the busy, relentless flow of everyday life, I think that’s why my gaze naturally lingered on these two pieces.
After viewing all the works and leaving the exhibition hall, I pondered deeply on what “A Butterfly’s Dream” might mean. Although there were no works featuring actual butterflies at the exhibition, every time I viewed a piece, I felt as though a butterfly were present somewhere. It occurred to me that this butterfly was none other than myself, the viewer. When I think of butterflies, purity and freedom come to mind first. I can picture a butterfly with snow-white wings flying freely across a blue meadow. However, I also imagined a butterfly that had lost the space where it once flew to its heart’s content, its freedom taken away for no apparent reason. So, I wondered if the dream of returning to its original place is precisely what “The Butterfly’s Dream” is all about. And it struck me that the image of that butterfly resembles who I am right now.
While appreciating “The Butterfly’s Dream,” I found myself reflecting on how I had lived my life focused solely on the present and the future. I realized that sometimes it’s okay to take a break, and sometimes it’s necessary to look back. To me, “The Butterfly’s Dream” was an exhibition that encouraged me to step away for a moment from a life that chases only superficial, modern changes, to reflect on the past, and to take a breather. When life gets too hard and exhausting, rather than rushing headlong toward today and tomorrow, taking a moment to rest while recalling the past—which holds your own unique colors—can be a meaningful experience.
